gendered shirt...

file:///Users/Eva/Desktop/IMG00108.jpg.webloc

check out this image...(sorry, it won't post so that's why there's a link)

it reminded me of gus' blog

happy break!

-Eva

wordle.net

Hi folks!

WORDLE is a neat website that uses word frequency to create artistic images.
It is an AWESOME site that many of us who are still here at CITYterm
have been fiddling around with.
Check out the wordle for your blog posts.
You can click on the image to see the full-size version.
Pretty neat, huh?!

You can wordle your papers, e-mails, chats, blogs, whatever. It's super-fantastic.

Happy break!
Steph
Jason
Grover
Fenway
cats are OK - purrr
dogs are OK - wooof

Just a thought provoking ad I found...

This is a Diesel Jeans advertisement, titled "Global Warming Ready"

*Note the background

What are your thoughts?

-Zoe M.

Can you google "solutions to gender stereotypes"? by Zoe M.

I'm not going to lie, I laughed when I first saw this picture posted on a friend's Facebook. But a few moments soon after, I realized the problems with this image, and beyond that, what this image says about society at large.

Allow me to explain this photo before I dissect it:

When you start to type something into the Google Search Engine, Google suggests words to complete your search. This is a feature called Auto-Complete. It is meant to make the researching process faster, and minimize the chances of the person typing misspelling whatever they're searching for. The order of auto complete suggestions that pop up are according to the frequency of which they are searched. So if this is true, then why are such gender stereotypes so high on the list?

What does this say about the respect genders have for each other? How can we change it? Do people really feel this way or is it some kind of poorly thought out joke?

What are your thoughts?

Guys vs. Girls - by Max

We all like to think that girls have just as equal an advantage in society as men. Sadly, this is not the case.
Why is that such a small population, of both men and women can answer this riddle naturally:
A father and his son are on an airplane. The plane goes down, and right before impact the father does a heroic dive to ensure the survival of his son, but he dies in the act of doing so. The survivors of the crash are sent to a nearby hospital, and the injured son is taken to doctor, the doctor replies: “I can’t operate on this child, he’s my son.”
Almost everyone I ask takes a good 5 minutes before realizing that women can be doctors too, and thus the doctor was his mother. Why is it that they have to trip over the fact whether the dad somehow came back to life? It’s weird to me that absolutely everyone has a hard time with this riddle, but I believe this is saying something. Society has a hard time seeing women in a high profile job such as a doctor.
In today’s day and age, the role of the man is to be strong, fearless, powerful and carefree. Women are to be fragile, precious, emotional little creatures. We often hear comparisons of men, to “beasts,” and likewise for women, “fox.” This is the norm, but there is also pressure in society to follow these trends. Would an adolescent girl who doesn’t know all the Jonas Brothers be the most popular girl in her middle school? Could a guy who doesn’t know who won the Superbowl be one of the bros? The society we live in does not really show this happening any time soon. However, society has changed over time, and become more accepting to differences.
When men and women first started, they lived in a very primitive barbaric society, where women were strictly for reproducing and nurturing, because the growth of our species was so important. Men were the hunter-gatherers, doing all the physical tasks necessary for his family to survive. The bodies of men and women are different, and in a way, these applications are very logical. However, in today’s modern society, so much has changed. Reproducing isn’t priority number one. In America, it is life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This concept is what allows us for progress, but these instincts that our genders are born with will always be there, but I believe there will be a time when we eventually will have to disregard these instincts in order for society to function. Who knows, though?
All I know is that today, men still have the upper hand in society. Society pushes us to follow this template and thus, we are trapped in a cycle.

Feel like a Goddess OR Feel Like a Man

By Eva and Alexis

“Power, and passion, spirit, and substance – Inside every woman there is a goddess waiting to be discovered.” A singer belting her tune confidently, a runner trudging like there’s no tomorrow, a painter whose paint strokes are as driven as the strokes of a swimmer. In the vibrant snapshots in the Gillette Venus, all of these “Venus goddesses” flourish amidst a burst of fire, a cloudless sky, a dose of creative energy, a flash of lightning. As the rainbow-like red, orange, yellow, green blue and purple razors will shave away your stubby hair, they will dually reveal your radiant potential. The advertisement illustrates these thriving (shaven) women and their fantastic, flamboyant, exaggerated dance-like gestures. These women would give Barbie (master of all trades) a run for her money. And so, the ad is a success. But wait a minute. Let’s get real. While this ad supposedly represents natural or women “shaven” to the core, the Gillette advertisement for a men’s body wash seems to mirror its audience more truthfully.

“Just because it says “for men” it doesn’t mean it is. New Gillette Odor Shield Body Wash targets and neutralizes odor up to sixteen hours because you have got a “man-sized” odor hanging all over you. Gillette Odor Shield Body Wash – wash like a man, feel like a man.” These opening lines lead the viewer into a standard blue and gray tiled shower facing the hairy calves of what we assume (given our scarce evidence) to be a (sole) typical American man. Given that the calves are consistent to the rest of this masculine physique, he is probably a hunk. (We’ll never know)…. Regardless, our fantasies are halted by the slew of wonder-man’s “masculine” possessions, which land clumsily (as a “man” would drop them) at his oh-so-adorable feet. According to our feminine eyes, the variety of objects seemed to belong to the stereotypical masculine gender. Furthermore, compared to the formal English accent of the narrator of the female advertisement, the narrator of the male accent speaks casually – mirroring the voice of an average American man. However, according to the perspective of a “typical” man who uses Gillette products (Jason Hult), the objects represented a variety of activities the man had successfully accomplished in that given day.

Gillette holds the mirror up to the male viewers they hope will lather themselves in their body wash after viewing the ad. So why is the definition of a man limited to the adult version of “action toys” falling at his feet, while the female advertisement summons the female to aspire to be more than what she sees in the mirror each day? Both ads are asking the customer to step outside of their bathrooms and do something more. By providing the male viewers with a mirror and the female viewers a window, the Gillette company seems to be trying to command (as one would command a dog) the males to be more productive while it seems to be attempting to inspire the female to step outside of the realm of the mundane routine of their daily lives. Perhaps the company is prodding at the systematic, logical brains of males while addressing the female’s empathetic tendencies—those that would lead them to respond to the brand’s passionate advertisement on an empathetic level.

If you use 16-hour body wash, you’ll be a man. If you pick up your Venus, you’ll be a goddess. Although Gillette’s products are designed for the two different sexes (male and female), they end up stepping beyond the sex boundaries, into the realm of gender expression. Gillette assumes that females are “girly” and males are “boyish”—whatever that means! Furthermore, the problem with the ads’ missions is that they’ve succeeded in convincing the viewer to purchase the product—says a Venus fanatic, “I do feel like a goddess when I shave”. But is this really the right message to be spreading? How would a gender-questioning person respond to such an ad? What happens if a man wants to feel like a god, or a woman wants to be “cleansed” after mowing the lawn and throwing a football around with her daughters?

Restrooms and Gender

When I was in preschool the restrooms had no sign with a stick figure of a boy or girl. There was just the restroom, plain and simple. But at some point in my life the signs appeared. I want to say it was in 4^th grade. It was the first year I moved down to a classroom on the bottom floor of my elementary school. Instead of having just one restroom attached to the classroom there was a “girls” room and a “boys” room in the hallway. They were still single restrooms no stalls or anything fancy. In fact they were identical to the ones upstairs besides the signs on the doors. So why in 4^th grade did we need to separate the restrooms? In 3^rd grade the unisex restroom was just fine, now for some reason I had one restroom and could go in and want I could not. Because they were single restrooms and they were 100% identical the need to differentiate between “boys” and “girls” seems absurd. I mean maybe if there were stalls I’d see the point but to me this was just crazy. I would be waiting to use a restroom and there would be one perfectly fine restroom open that I was not permitted to use. It was ridicules. Can men and women not pee in the same toilet? We do a peoples homes all the time, so why in public places such as schools or libraries is it different?

I was in restaurant about a year ago and the women’s room was occupied so I used the men’s single person restroom. Upon coming out I received a weird look form an older man waiting. He looked at me as if I was from Mars. When really I had just used a restroom identical to the one next store. Why was it just a big deal to him? I had in no way tarnished “his” restroom. It was just as I had found it when I had came in. I am amazed at how much signs with stick figures control our lives. How the different sexes much be kept from using the same facilities. Every time I see a single restroom with a sign indicating a specific gender I am baffled. I always ask myself “Why?” and I always end up at the same answer, “There is no reason, it’s pointless to me.”

Teen Pregnancy Policy

Rachel B.

At my all girls school there is a rule that states that if a student were to get pregant during the year and she decides to keep the baby, that student is “asked to leave” the school on the basis that they couldn’t keep up with the rigorous academic curriculum. However, it is my own personal belief that the real motive behind this policy is for the school to save face and not have their “pristine” reputation tarnished. Regardless of the motive, I think this policy is unreasonable and discriminatory towards the students of the school for multiple reasons.

I believe that my school is essentially forcing girls to choose between abortion or education. They aren’t open to the idea of adoption because they would have to wait until the girl comes to full term, which would be bad for the school’s reputation. They are also against allowing the girl to have and keep the baby, which I believe should be up to the mother and her family. This policy seems to be implying that either a girl can choose to stay, and be educated, and go to college, but get an abortion; Or, the girl can choose to have a baby, but will most likely be unable to finish highschool. I think that forcing these girls to make this choice is unnecessary and may force young girls to deny their religious, political, or familial beliefs.

This policy also seems unfair because both the male and the female equally participated in the impregnantion of the female. Just because the girl carries the baby, and other people are aware of that based on her appearance, she should be punished by expulsion? The father should have just as much responsibility for the pregnancy as the mother does, and yet no one at his school even has to know and his school definitely doesn’t consider expulsion. The policy shows that just because of the way a man is biologically built, he has the opportunity to finish highschool and go to college over a woman carrying his child.

Also, because women are biologically programmed to get pregnant, without the negative attitude that society has toward teen pregnancy, it would be a completely natural thing for a girl to get pregnant at any age. Therefore, taking away education because of the nature of a woman’s body is not fair and really doesn’t even make sense because it isn’t something that is in anyone’s control. Getting pregnant, which is a natural thing for a woman to do, shouldn't have anything to do with her academic career.

I am not at all promoting teen pregnancy. I personally believe that a girl should get pregnant when she is old enough and ready to care for another human being. However, I think that if a teen girl AND a boy make the mistake of getting the girl pregnant, a school should be supportive and compassionate towards the situation and refrain from punishing the girl for something she is biologically programmed to do.

What It Means to Be a Man by Dan L.

While enduring the last two minutes of running on the treadmill during a vigorous workout, a wave of emotions Freud would have argued are manifested in the id and Thoreau would have argued are natural and authentic pervaded both my body and mind. They felt barbaric and raw. They felt the way I imagine Mohammad Ali felt like mid-punch in a championship match, or King Kong felt like on the empire state building— roaring and beating his chest to an honorable death—. But, as authentic as my emotions felt, they mirrored the emotions I’ve discerned from superficial billboards and commercials that advertising agencies have created to project what values and roles men should practice in society. (http://www.piolopascual.net/wp-content/uploads/piolobelomedical.jpg) Maybe I’m just a human commercialism has infected with the theory that being male is embodying the traits society deems appropriate for people with male genitals to exercise.
I want the emotions I experienced while running to be palpable only to people with male genitals. I want the emotions I felt to be an indicator that there are gross biological and physiological distinctions between men and women beyond our breasts, genitals, and varying levels of estrogen and testosterone. (http://www.parenting.com/article/Pregnancy/Development/The-Real-Difference-Between-Boys-and-Girls) I want my experience to mean emasculating experiences exist, because I want my life long self-identification with masculinity to mean more than I was a mouse in one of societies traps.
It’s possible that I want to fulfill masculine stereotypes, because after years and years of rap music, action movies, and football I’ve internalized the notion that the elements, which constitute an effective ad for selling Gillette Shaving Cream (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4L3bm6m3KQ), constitute what it means to be male. But, it’s also possible that I strive to emulate commercially masculine traits because my innate physiological instincts drive me to do so.
I don’t know whether or not I was born with the predisposition to fulfill masculine stereotypes. I don’t know by if the time I’m too old to care how I define my gender, I’ll have furthered my understanding of what it means. But, I do know that I’ll do my best to live free of any manacles that society secretly binds us to. Regardless of how my emotions were created, I’ll follow them in whatever direction they point me. There are over seven billion people on the earth, and there are over seven billion ways to live life authentically.

Re-defining "Co-Ed"

By Kendall

At what age is it no longer acceptable for a boy or a girl to take a bath together? At what point is it taboo for two children of the opposite sex to have a sleepover? What is the oldest age a boy can get away with going into a women’s bathroom with his mother? Whatever you decide these cut-offs are, I think that they are chosen based on traditional societal assumptions yet are rarely ever thought about. Historically, men and women were kept separate due to their unequal privileges and roles in society, but I believe that now at the core of our need to separate girls and boys is a fear of how to deal with attraction. Parents who see how technology has made times less easy to control and has influenced kids to become faster, less protected from certain information, and more influenced by constant media attention. They fear what their children know and what they’ll do with what they know, and therefore separate them so they don’t have to face the truth that even at a young age there is a chance their child will want to experiment sexually. However, the ignored truth is that many of them don’t. Many just see members of the opposite sex as friends and by creating the “forbidden fruit” concept between men and women, they give children the idea that as their bodies take on greater differences, they must see the same boy that was just a friend in a more conservative way. When the damage has already been done, and your child is now entering college as an adult, do those rules of separation still apply? Due to the ways of modern relationships and the increasing number of people who have changed their sexual orientation or identity along the way, the answer is not easy.

Traditionally, colleges were either all-male or all-female and they have come a long way to create a truly co-ed experience. However, one separation that still remains is within school-sponsored housing. There has been an influx of controversy recently as schools have began to loosen their definition of “co-ed” and struggle to find a politically correct way to incorporate different types of relationships, whether they are friendly or romantic, into the living community, while still ensuring that people who still believe in the traditional mold of separation feel comfortable. The changes started with putting girls and boys in the same building, then progressed to including mixed halls, and the success of those changes how now given many school the nod to start instituting co-ed bathrooms. Although these changes already force some traditionalists to the tips of their toes, it is the prospect of mixed gender dorm rooms that will put them over the edge.

The intended students that would benefit from this change by the schools are vague and the unclear lines of who applies are causing much controversy. For example, if you’re going off of my premise that separations are based on attraction, the female/male split no longer does the job. Gays and transgenders now make up a large percent of college students who may have to struggle with forbidden attraction to their straight roommate or may get past the rules of separation in romantic relationships since both students would be the same sex. This isn’t fair for the gays who have to conceal their attraction, the straight students who have to feel as uncomfortable in a room as if they were rooming with a guy, or the couples who can live together while straight couples cannot. I don’t think co-ed housing options are perfect, especially with their high risk s and vague guidelines, but I do think they eliminate some of the tension built by this unfairness. If you are able to choose whether or not you want co-ed housing, it should be fine.

Although my position on the subject changes with new information, I believe that our society needs a paradigm shift from our concept of relationships between girls and boys to address the issue with multiple perspectives in mind. The increasing number of gays and transgenders adds a new dimension to how and when we separate based on gender and we need to reevaluate how we influence how young children have relationships with the opposite sex, and that we can no longer make general categories labeled “men” and “women.”

Touchdown by Ngina

Drew Brees, Quarterback. Adrian Peterson, Running back, Steve Smith, Wide receiver. For some reason I can list all of these and probably no more than 20 others with little thought. Sunday nights, Monday nights, Pardon the Interruption, Around the Horn, Sportscenter, ESPN Classic, NFL RedZone, NFL Today, NFL Total Access, the Probowl in Hawaii, The Draft at Radio City Music Hall in New York, and an array of random insignificant facts like who in the NFL’s faced criminal charges. This for an guy who watches football is basic information, surface stuff, the type of thing everyone would get correct on a test. However if I mention anyone of these things in conversation or Facebook status it’s usually followed by surprise, considered with apprehension, or the more common, “OK then, I see you knowing about football and what not”.

When I hear this sort of response from a male friend I usually smirk instead of pursuing conversation about why they responded in that way. Instead of challenging the concept that football is a males sport: played by males, understood by males, and discussed (most accurately) by males.

I don’t study the mechanics of football. However, I know enough about how the game works and who plays it in order to entertain a short conversation about the sport. When it comes to making educated predictions and analyzing plays, it is just as foreign of a sport to me as it would be to a person watching it for the first time.

I still however marvel in the experience of being able to drop a name of a not so widely known player. If you’re a girl you are expected to know certain football players. The cute one’s with reality shows (Terrell Owens), the one involved in dog fighting (Michael Vick), the one’s in relationships with admired celebrity women (Reggie Bush, Tony Romo, Kendra’s Boyfriend), and/or your home teams quarterback (Tom Brady, in my case). Now I would never drop one of these names in order to get “respected” or taken seriously by a male who follows the sport. Those are too easy, they undermine my (basic) knowledge of the Nation Football League. This knowledge I acquired by simply observing my older brother’s interest in the game. I was always curious about the sport, always asking questions. “Whose that?” “What team’s he play for?” “What number is he?” I would accumulate the answers to these questions, remember them on random occasions, during the right conversations. Jeremy Shockey, used to play for the Giants, just won the Superbowl with the Saints. Tight end. Larry Fitzgerald, Cardinals, Chad Ochocinco (formerly known as Chad Johnson), Bengals, Brandon Marshall, Broncos. All Wide Receivers. Sometimes I’d even surprise myself when I stated these random facts. I would say a name and it would be right, and I’d give myself an internal high five.

However, I would never outwardly express my pride, that to me would be a sign of weakness. It would make me just like the other girls, who are expected to know nothing, or a few things, such as what I mentioned above.

Two distinct kinds of pressure are created: One from the boys. Boys, including those who play, watch, and study football. Boys who know less that me but pretend in order to fit into this imaginary code of manliness. I’m expected to know less than both of these “types” of boys and this is obvious this whenever I discuss football with them.
The second kind of pressure is from girls. And unless these girls have knowledge that exceeds the criteria mentioned above (and there are some!) the response is the following. “She thinks she’s special because she can related to them about football.” Or “she thinks she’s important because can talk about Monday night’s game.” Or my favorite: “She thinks she’s better than me because she actually knows what she’s cheering about when watching from the sidelines.” And I guess there’s also the girls who stay out of it all together, as they’re expected.

*I will admit that I’m annoyed when its Superbowl XLIV Sunday and every girls Facebook status is “I love Reggie Bush.” Or “Go Saints” or something generic like that, when they know in their heart it’s the first game there watching all season (if they’re even watching it. . . ).

I think I’m somewhat different because I can talk and know what I’m talking about. But I don’t think it makes me any better. Like I said I know the basics, the simple stuff, the stuff that the boy is expected to know. And I wont go making impetuous statements about whose better offensively, or defensively because I usually don’t know. I envy those female Sport casters on the sideline or the girls who play flag football during Probowl Weekend. However, when I do know something, I will make it known to all those who aren’t expecting it. And give myself that well deserved internal high five.

Challenging the Feminist Stereotype by Rebecca

Feminism in today's world is a somewhat sensitive topic. Although it has been around making changes to better women's rights since its first big wave at the turn of the 20th century, for some reason feminists today still sometimes get a bad rap. When one pictures a feminist, what might immediately come to mind is the image of a radical woman in the 1960s or 70s burning her bra to protest women's constraints in society. While extremists do exist, the stereotype of a masculine woman, battling against shaving or wearing makeup, is simply not what feminism is about. This cliché is in fact extremely detrimental to the feminist cause as it not only spreads a false idea of what feminists are like, but also makes less people willing to putting themselves in a group with others, and therefore less people supporting women's rights in general.

Back at home, I have a friend who decided around age 12 that she was a diehard feminist. She wrote articles for the middle school newspaper explaining topics like how Hermione made the perfect female role model or why sexy Halloween costumes should be frowned upon. At the time she was ridiculed for her strong opinions, which other kids had probably just not really considered at this point. While she stuck to her beliefs and didn't let others bring her down, it is amazing to look back on this a few years later and wonder what kind of progress could have been made if instead of instantly labeling her as another radical feminist just like others they had heard of, the student body decided to support her. Maybe there could have been a feminist club established, raising awareness of unequal pay between sexes or sexual harassment in the workplace, or even getting students to question why society praises unhealthy standards for women through the media.

Honestly, I don't usually describe myself as a feminist immediately, but I think that any woman who puts down feminism and refers back to the old stereotype is either in denial that there are still issues surrounding women's rights or is just a self-loathing person. How is it possible to not support a cause that you automatically, naturally fall into? Frankly, any woman or man who stands against problems ranging from women's salaries being disproportionate to men's, to rape and violence against women worldwide, should consider themselves feminists. I am someone who when asked has often said that I am a feminist, but not one of those "extreme" types. But what exactly makes someone an "extreme" feminist? Compare the number of people you know who believe men and women should be equal against the number of those people who represent the "bra-burning" standard, and you will realize, as I have, how unnecessary it is to become defensive when asked if you are a feminist, and how unimportant it is to make sure you are not grouped with others who feel too rebellious for you.

There is no guideline to being a feminist, as feminists are absolutely not all the same. Some of them will go to rallies to raise support for women's rights, some might volunteer regularly at a local battered women's shelter, while others will simply spread feminist ideas through everyday conversation among friends. While these may all seem like very different tasks, the fact is that each one of these people is supporting the same ultimate goal—a world in which women and men can live completely equally, to the point that feminists will not have to fight for women's rights or reclaiming derogatory words like "slut," used solely against women, and feminism instead will very simply be about being proud of outstanding woman figures in society and all that they have done. Our challenge now is to reach that goal, with accepting and supporting feminism as our first step. Next time you are asked whether or not you are a feminist, before becoming defensive or afraid of being labeled, think about what societal values are really important to you, and hopefully you will come to the conclusion that, just as I am a feminist, you are too.

Girls wear dresses and Boys wears pants- Why? Kathy

I remember the hours spent in the fitting room of a children’s clothing shop called “Toddlers Place” in Ohio from the ages of three to seven. It was a large store with oversized teddy bears strewn across it divided into two sections; ‘toddler girls ‘and ‘ toddler boys’. Immediately upon entering my mother walked straight toward the frilly pink dresses and rows of headbands with me in tow. Within ten minutes she would have armfuls of shiny dresses and skirts all for me to try on for upcoming family or holiday occasions. By the age of four this seemed natural to me; pink dresses, purple skirts, sparkly headbands. Similarly, when my mother would take my brothers out for clothes shopping they would go to the sections painted in blue and red where racks of pants, shorts and collard button downs awaited them. They wore what my mother put on them without complaint (except when it came time to wearing tight ties.) I never recall them once questioning why we were dressed in such different outfits, nor did I ever question it myself. These two separate attires were the ‘norm’. It was how my friends and their brother’s would dress as well as all the adults around me. My mom rarely, if ever, wore a pant suit as I saw my father wear every day before heading off to work.
One of the factors that is prominent in this noticeable issue is society. From an early age a girl wearing a dress and a boy wearing pants is considered normal. All the dolls I played with, including my ballerina Barbie doll, were dressed in these outfits. Even the Cabbage Patch doll I had she was dressed in a yellow gown with lime green flowers. On the other hand my brothers would play with tough looking GI Joes dressed in camouflage pants and jackets. Even from a young age we’re shown what our sex is supposed to wear. I never questioned why this was because I never knew it was something to wonder about. From the time I became remotely aware of these difference, around the age of five, it just was. The only time I wanted to wear shorts was when playing outside in the yard but other than that I didn’t mind the skirts and dresses.
This classic idea of a woman in a dress and man wearing kakis goes back hundreds of years. It’s deeply pressed into our society that this is the correct and proper way to dress as your sex. As a fellow blogger, Erich Vieth, wrote about in his discussion of this topic, he said the reason why the sexes dress as they do is “just because.” There is no explicit answer for this question except that is just is. It’s been this way for as long as anyone knows but in time I predict it will change. Only in the past couple decades has this notion began to change form. People are beginning to question the gender bounds and what it means to be a woman and dress like one. The opposite is true with men. Does a man have to wear pants to be a man or can he wear a skirt and be viewed in the same light? As people keep questioning and pushing the sex and gender bounds this black and white issue will eventually turn gray. “Just because” will no longer be a suitable answer.

Taste of Her Cherry Chap-Stick

Experimentation. It’s not a word with much weight anymore. Our teenage years have become synonymous with this concept of “experimentation”. We are expected to “experiment” with drugs, alcohol, sex, sexuality, passions—this is the time we, as members of society, are granted a “freebie”. To a certain extent we can, and should, do as we like under the anthem of “experimentation”. We are meant to explore now so that by the time twenty-four rolls around we know who exactly who we are. Check that off the list please!
Yet the problem is, experimentation has become an excuse, a cover-up, for behavior. In particular, experimentation seems to have undermined sexuality and gender exploration among teenagers. It’s cool for girls to kiss girls at a party because they’re just “experimenting”. The next morning it’s no questions asked. Experimentation is a one-way street that still leads straight to heterosexuality. It’s not about exploration but about mistakes and thoughtless decisions. By labeling a lesbian, transgender, or otherwise out of the norm behavior “experimentation”, we as a group de-legitimize the behavior altogether. The acts are mere experiments—they hold no value or serious weight in our exploration of identity; they are fleeting.
Perhaps one of the greatest manifestations of this distortion of “experimentation” is Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl, which released in the spring of 2008. The lyrics are as follows:
“This was never the way I planned. Not my intention. I got so brave drink in hand. Lost my discretion. It’s not what I’m used. Just want to try you on. I’m curious for you caught my attention. I kissed a girl and I liked it. The taste of her cherry chap stick. I kissed a girl just to try it…”
While at first glance Perry’s song seems progressive and even daring, a closer look at the lyrics shows just how crudely the song hinders legitimate sexual exploration. Perry treats the event, her kissing a girl, like an out of control act—“I got so brave drink in hand.” It’s as if she only was able to kiss a girl because her judgment was inhibited. The same way girls whore themselves out at parties, using alcohol as an excuse, Perry uses alcohol as the reason behind her homosexual behavior. Furthermore we hear how Perry “lost [her] discretion”, suggesting that kissing a girl was just another slutty, erotic move; Perry was inherently NOT making a decision but rather acting thoughtlessly, carelessly and without consequence.
Perry’s I Kissed a Girl has merely fueled the image of sexy girl-on-girl hookups, which seems to have gained popularity and normality in the pop world. At parties, boys jokingly ask drunken girls to hook up—and girls do it! At dances, girls hook up with other girls simply to appear more provocative, and thus attractive, to boys. At the 2003 MTV Music Awards Brittany Spears and Madonna locked lips in front of thousands of viewers; during interviews following the kiss, Spears was shocked at the suggestion that she had ever kissed a girl before. In addition the interviewers often suggested the kiss was a “gift”; it was as if the kiss was somehow meant to pleasure male viewers—and it probably was considering the circumstances.
So what does this new phenomenon of “girl-on-girl” action mean? It means that teenagers may not actually be exploring their sexual identities. Suddenly, when a girl kisses another girl, she does not, cannot, contemplate whether she liked the kiss; we are programmed from our peers and from the media to see girls kissing girls as heterosexuals being a little wild and crazy. But what if wild and crazy turns into sincere and eye-opening? How many girls never allow that kiss to mean more than a drunken hook up or a bad mistake at a dance? Have we as a generation turned lesbian behavior into a heterosexual sideshow? Or am I being too critical—is the popular acceptance of lesbian hook-ups a sign that as a generation we are truly progressive?
-Zoe B.

Same Sex or No Sex

by Alexandra Zeitouni

Living in a boarding school raises interesting questions about sexual intimacy between students. One issue that has been quite controversial at my school recently is that of parietals. Parietals, or intervisitation is the procedure for hosting a friend of the opposite sex in one’s dorm room. At my school, one has to ask the house parent for permission, and keep the door open and lights on. As well, it is specifically stated that parietals are not for sexual intimacy.
Since parietals were originally intended for opposite sex visits, how should boarding schools deal with same-sex relationships? According to the Concord Academy (my school) handbook, “For those in open same-sex relationships, the school expects that students will follow the same guidelines that everyone else is following. The school expects students who are not “out” to follow the same guidelines short of requesting permission from the house parent on duty.” Even though the school has included the section about same-sex parietals, there are some issues surrounding their solution. First of all, parietals rules exist based off of the premise that students will engage in sexual or intimate behavior in the dorm rooms. They are also based off of the premise that there is some sort of attraction between those of the opposite sex. Therefore, why should someone who is homosexual be allowed to have anyone of their own sex in their rooms, even if they are not in a relationship with that person, just like anyone straight would have to get parietals with anyone of the opposite sex. Second of all, since those who are not yet out don’t have to ask permission for parietals when they are in a relationship with someone and are just expected to follow the rules on an honor system, the reality is that not many people will. In fact, I am aware of multiple occasions when people in same-sex relationships have used the dorm rooms for sexual intimacy.
I have heard many complaints on the issue, yet these arguments don’t seem to get anywhere. While many complain that these rules are unfair, there doesn’t seem to be a set of rules that would work any better. You can’t ask an openly gay guy not to have other guys in his room, especially since he is living in an all guys door and he most likely has a roommate. Also, it is only fair to respect the privacy of those who have not yet come out and trust that they will follow the parietals guidelines. So what does this mean? Clearly, our society is still operating on a system built for heterosexual relationships. Rules are then amended or altered to include homosexuals, but our society doesn’t function in a way that makes all of these rules make sense. Most boarding schools, such as Groton and Holderness don’t even discuss same-sex parietals in their student rule books. While my school is still adapting, the reality is that society just isn’t fully prepared to deal with issues surrounding homosexuality.

A Cheerleader? Really? -- Alicia

I think the first time I ever met of a male cheerleader I was maybe fourteen years old. It came as a shock. The concept of cheerleading is such a feminine thing; to dance around in a short skirt, egging your team on--for a traditional man, that's just coloring outside the lines. It also didn't help that he was the only male cheerleader. Or that he was potdealer. That did his own poison. So he didn't remember most of the games. And he was supposed to be the spotter; the safety person.
All hands down, this boy did not make a good impression. But, business and hobbies aside, it still struck me funny that he was a cheerleader. My first thought was that he was gay, but then he kept hitting on me in a sort of creepy way. So that was out, and I was really confused. He was a . . . straight . . . male . . . cheerleader. I mulled it over for a few weeks before I was at peace with the fact that straight, male cheerleaders exist. I had to work on the idea that men don'thave to do only "man" things in order to remain masculine. They don'thave to think "cook" means "grill," and they don't have to "wear the pants" in a relationship. Though, for that specific point, I may have been younger when I came face to face with that.
I was around six the first time I played the board game Life. It was (almost) as fun as Monopoly until it came time to get married. (Also, as a sidenote, they make it mandatory to get married in that game. Thinking back on it, I think that's strange. Does than imply one sex needs the other, or that they need each other mutually?) Your piece that you move around the game is a car. Into this car you stick little blue and pink pieces depending on whether the people are male or female (again, with the assumptions. Some girls absolutely loathe pink). I had myself, a pink piece, of course, driving the car. When I got married . . . did that mean I couldn't drive anymore? Should I switch my pink piece with my new husband's blue piece and relegate myself to the passenger seat? What was the right thing to do in this situation? It was a revolutionary thought when my father told me I could keep my piece in the drivers seat and have hubbie take shotty. Its strange now to think that my main original problem with the set-up was that the man appeared weak when he didn't take the wheel. He wasn't Prince Charming when he didn't steer his great white stallion. That, I think, was the turning point, when I let my little pink piece steer that little car past the church (nongender-related sidenote--only a Christian church? Really?)and on into baby-land and retirement.

Funny how a little game of Life changed my own.

You play ball like a girl!-Gus B

There are many “disses” in this world in regards to sexuality and gender. Put downs and derogatory names have been a norm in society forever and won’t stop any time soon. Amongst the vast range of disses in modern society, there are a few that have been around for quite a while but have actually lost their edge in recent decades. For this blog, I’m going to highlight the use of the word “girl” in the way that boys, and girls alike, use it against one another. More specifically how it plays in sports.

Though some girls use the term “girl” against each other, it is most often found that boys use it amongst each other. Around the mid to late 20th century, calling another boy a girl was among the worst things you could say to somebody. We all remember the Ham in the movie The Sandlot saying, “You play ball like a girl!” Following that, viewers see about a half dozen jaws drop the ground and pure silence amongst the boys. Though a great line in an equally great movie, this line says a lot about the veracity of the accusation. Though society has come a long ways since those times, the term still exists today, only less severe. Back then, there was little female participation in professional sports and thus made a little bit of sense.

It has gotten to the point where boys throw it around loosely and not many take offence to it anymore (as far as I can tell). I should back up and say that to call another guy a girl is essentially saying that they are bad at something or do something poorly. Along with that, to say somebody is being a girl it suggests that they are acting dramatically or that they are lacking courage. For example, if a guy opts out of doing something dangerous and risky, peers would say something like, “don’t be such a girl.”

Despite all of these accusations, these have been disproved throughout the years. In the second half of the 20th century, for example, there was no WNBA(Women’s National Basketball Association) and to WPS(Women’s Professional Soccer), thus possibly making the assumption true that women are less athletic and calling a boy a girl almost makes sense in an athletic context. But now that these leagues, amongst others, have been established, to call a boy a girl does not make sense and is not valid in any way.

Gendered Foods by Callie

Steak, hamburgers, bacon, and hot sauce: manly food.

Cupcakes, chocolate, salad, and fruit: girly food.

This is the impression that many people of America have about food. There are a number of foods that can be categorized by gender. Of course, there are many “gender-neutral” foods such as spaghetti and meatballs, and pizza. “Man food” is characterized by anything particularly meaty and/or that can be eaten by using fingers and hands as utensils. “Girly food” is only eaten with a fork or spoon, is a small portion, and/or involves packaging advertising low fat and the word “diet.”

How did people come to associate chocolate with woman and steak with men? It has to do with America’s standards of each gender. Women are supposed to be delicate while men are supposed to be powerful and aggressive. It has always been this way. Men and women have always been separate and men have always been the more powerful of the two. It’s both sad and ridiculous that what a person eats makes them more manly or more girly. Yogurt is for women, chili is for men. Tea is for women, beer is for men. According to Man’s Law #26, all men must eat meat to be a man. What happens if a man doesn’t want to eat meat? does that mean he’s not a man? What if a woman loves to eat meat? does that mean that she’s more manly than women who don’t eat meat?

There are foods that have recently been invented that are specifically and exclusively meant for men only, such as “manwiches” and “mancakes.” A “manwich” is simply a sandwich, but stuffed with extra meat. “Mancakes” mostly have alcohol baked into them and meat toppings to seem more manly than a traditional cupcake. Companies also used manliness to sell their products. Burger King had a commercial advertising their double whopper with men singing about how they are man and must eat meat instead of “chick food.” There’s even a brand name called “Hungry-Man” with a television commercial of a fisherman being blown away in the wind because he had an un-manly dinner.

Both genders are expected to stick to their own foods. If a man drinks tea, he is considered fairly feminine, and if a woman eats steak, she is considered fairly masculine. Why does food have to determine this? Shouldn’t what people eat be determined by nutritional value, not on a masculine-feminine scale?

Marry a girl, a boy, I don't care, just do it! by Shelby

Arranged marriage is a matrimonial decision made by a party other than the bride and groom. This is most dominant throughout South Asia and the Middle East. Throughout our sex and gender classes it has been puzzling me that there can be two people in love, but they aren’t allowed to get married just anywhere. I understand this concept, although I very much disagree, and it has been undergoing a lot of decision-making in the past couple of years, but then I got to thinking. What about people whose culture believes in arranged marriages? What if they are gay or lesbian? This really interested me as to what happens. I read a few articles and one that I found was about how much of a disgrace it is to be unmarried. It stated that, “Singleness means you never grew up. It's the biggest failing of parenthood -- the incompleteness of the unmarried child.” I was really shocked, but also happy, with these results. Often, when I forget to suspend judgment, I think of immigrant families as extremely conservative. In fact, most say that they would rather have their children be, “Gay, but with children,” as one Chinese mans’ parent’s decided. Others, whose parents are not as supportive, decide to ‘marry for convenience.’ This is when a gay man marries a lesbian woman so that they can fulfill their parents’ expectations, but mutually have affairs with the preferred sex. As much as this is their way of being happy, how far will that go? Sneaking around, faking family dinners with a spouse you have no true connection with, and not being true to yourself. I’m not sure what’s worse, having to marry to fool your parents into thinking you’re the perfect child, or that if parent’s did approve, the choice to marry is very limited. On January 1, 2010 New Hampshire became the fifth state to allow gay marriage, along with Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts and Iowa. Still, why are there designated areas? Especially if it is an arranged marriage, is the church denying a culture? Arranged marriage’s original purpose was to wed two young adults so that they will live with wealth, eventual love (hopefully), and to pass down the authenticity of the culture. Now, it has become a little more complex. Today there is something called a mail-order bride. Typically a woman is sent overseas to the U.S. to fulfill their husband’s needs as the ‘housewife.’ Cooking, cleaning, bearing children. Why would women agree to this? Education, money, opportunity. It baffles me as to why parent’s agree to such things. Letting their child be gay simply to be married, not because they want them to be happy. Letting their child be sent away to marry a stranger just so that they will have a chance in America. So much is given up for culture. The situation about gays and lesbians marrying is the most intriguing to me. Everyday, gays struggle to receive equal rights to wed as any other couple in America, and here are these immigrants whose parent’s push them to be married whether it be to a man, a woman, both, so to say, whatever, as long as they’re married. Which is easier? Personally, I don’t there will ever be an easy way out.

Changes by Rachel M.

When I was younger, I was a man. Well, not a technically a man, but I definitely looked and dressed like a boy. When people look at pictures of me when I was a little kid, they tell me I looked like a boy. At first I would grimace and respond with, “Shut up!” But now I’ve come to embrace it. It’s interesting to see how I’ve changed over the years, and it’s not like I was the only little girl who refused to wear any form of pink.

At the end of second grade, my insane babysitter told me that she was going to give me a haircut. Being the second grader that I was, I permitted her. My mom came home that night to most of my long hair chopped off and completely uneven. This was the start of my tomboy years.

In third grade, I gave up my liking for dresses and skirts. Whenever I had to go to a fancy event with my family, I refused point blank to put on any skirt or dress my mom gave to me. “It’s too ugly,” “it’s too girly,” “it’s to frilly,” “it’s too pink!” I would complain to my mom. After struggling endlessly to make me wear a dress, my mother finally gave up and allowed me to wear the only thing I would comply to wear: a pair hideous velvet pants and a clashing velvet shirt. All in all, it was not one of my better outfits.

In fourth grade, I gave up wearing my hair down. At first it was too see how long I could go without my hair down; I thought it would be a cool thing to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. This idea didn’t make any sense at all, but to my fourth grade self it did. So, I continued to wear my hair down. After a while though, wearing my hair down became uncomfortable for me. I wasn’t used to my hair hanging down and I thought I looked weird and too girly.

Sixth grade was not my best year, or as I like to say: sixth grade never happened. Now my outfits were comprised of baggy sweatpants, a big sweatshirt down to my knees, and an alternation between a “Camp Playland” t-shirt and a “Camp Emerson” t-shirt. It’s hard to even look back on sixth grade; every time I think about it I want to cringe. It wasn’t just my choice of clothing though. I was awkward and I was weird. Yes, every typical sixth grader is like this, but I was five times weirder and six times more awkward than the typical sixth grader.

In the beginning of seventh grade, I got better. I started to wear long peasant skirts matched with a junk food t-shirt, preferably with a Sesame Street character or some brand of cereal on it. This was still not my finest fashion moment, but it was a step up from before.

At the end of seventh grade, I bought my first bra. This, I think, was the transition where I realized that I was a girl and not a boy. This was where I discovered what the difference, to me, is between a girl and boy. I realized that I could be pretty, I can wear dresses and cute clothes and I could even get my nails done if I wanted. After I came to this realization, I slowly and surely began to change. I started caring more about how I looked and dressed. I cared about how I acted; I became less of a slob. In eighth grade, my clothing style improved. In ninth grade, I got my braces off and I started wearing my hair down. In tenth grade, I began to straighten my hair and wear make-up. I began to transform into who I am today.

This whole experience makes me wonder though. Why have certain mannerisms become a way to landmark what girls are? Yes, I dressed in boy’s clothes and at one point looked like a boy, but what makes this different from “girly”? Why is there one general type of girl? What makes a girl a girl? Most of these questions I cannot answer. Most of the traits of a girl have been created and forced upon girls, myself included, for centuries. But girls don't have to just live and wait for the next womanly aspect of life to appear. They can challenge the gender stereotypes. So what if girls like football? Why is that such a masculine thing? So what if men like fashion? How did these stereotypes form and why did they stick? Just some food for thought.

Yes I am a woman, Yes I know the game, Yes I watch ESPN by Ariana

Growing up with two older brothers, I have always been around sports. Whether I wanted to or not, I came to love playing and watching sports. If you knew me before CITYterm, you would probably say that I fit into the “jock” category of high school. I made two varsity sports’ teams in 8^th grade and a third varsity team in 9^th grade. But, this to some people brings certain assumptions and stereotypes. People are surprised that I like the colors pink and purple, or that I like to go shopping, or that I paint my nails. Why do hobbies have to be associated with gender? Can’t we do what we love to do without judgment, without having to defend our femininity or masculinity? Tiffany Davies, a writer for bleacherreport.com, said “we are not the women who watch baseball and football for the men in tight pants. We are instead the women who bring a feminine touch to the sports world.” As she puts it, watching and playing sports as a female, does not mean we are more “masculine,” we simply bring new methods and perspective on the games.

Why does society automatically correlate sports and sexuality? Whenever I tell someone that my sister is on the women’s hockey team at Cornell, they depict a certain image of her without actually meeting her. One of the most common stereotypes is that if you play women’s hockey, you are a lesbian. My sister is not a lesbian, she simply enjoys playing hockey. In fact, all but 3 girls on her hockey team are not lesbians. But for men, playing sports defends your masculinity and is associated with being “straight.” Why does society adhere so tightly to these false stereotypes, instead of rejoicing in the common ground that can be found between genders?

Each year from freshman to junior year, I quit one of my sports. Some people think I’m crazy for quitting a varsity team, but the y are the same people that pushed me away from these activities. I never stopped loving the game. The thrill, the excitement, the fun, the friendships, the education that I got from basketball, field hockey, and softball are still there. It’s the stereotypes that confined me and limited me in my life that I wanted to get rid off. Yeah, the time commitment, and the physical stress was part of the reason I quit them. But, I think the main reason was because I didn’t want to be labeled as athletic, or a lesbian, or masculine. Why can’t I be straight and like sports? Society makes it that you have to choose which side to identify with: masculine hobbies, or feminine hobbies. I enjoy both “masculine” and “feminine” activities; I broke the gender lines by playing and watching “men” sports. Some people may say that I am not being true to myself, but maybe freeing myself from these stereotypes will open up new paths in life. Maybe I should have been happy with the way society perceives me. I found that playing sports outside of a regular structured team is the easiest way to balance both sides of myself.

The Fall of the American Male - Bob

Pop culture is well known to be trendy, full of fads, and very effective and profitable, but one aspect of pop culture that seems to be changing for the worse is the idea of manhood. Many big artists today seem to be very concerned with being tough rule breakers who are all straight and don’t show their emotions. They say this idea actually stems from an idea called misandry, a general hate or contempt for men. The first real shaping of what a “man” should be starts back in 1991 with a show called “Home Improvement.”

In what seemed a harmless and humorous attempt at an average man, ABC chose to air a show that made men into cavemen. Tim Allen quite honestly played a great performance, but unfortunately for him, it was for the worse. I’ve seen many episodes of the show, and after every one I wonder, how can such an absolutely stupid man be successful anywhere as an adult? It may seem harmless to adults who watch the show with their children, but the audience is in fact the very children they would watch the show with. All of the men in the show (excluding Wilson, the neighbor whom we rarely see) are buffoons who run around, yell, hit their head on things, and drink beer. Even Tim Allen’s sons in the show act like him. Whilst looking into some background on the show, I found that Tim is described in advertisements as “a stereotypical male who loves power tools, cars and sports”. Isn’t it sad when such materialistic ideals of power and wealth become the stereotype of the American male? What happened to intelligent thought and political or social accomplishments? In its entirety, its ratings never dropped below number ten for the timeslot. That’s just sad America.

Even today pop culture influences the male. Popular music of today is gangster rap, which is actually categorized as “a genre of hip-hop that reflects the violent lifestyles of inner-city youth.” It is known for its aggressive lyrics, closed-minded attitude, and all around violent feel. Many of its famous artists are huge in the United States, but one of the most well known and popular artists, Lil Wayne, is going to jail for a year, and this is his third time. Yet, his album was the best selling album in the US in 2008. How sad that the correlation exists between a multiple offender and popularity, because sadly, people like Gucci Mane and Lil Wayne who abuse drugs and women get their popularity by doing so. Men in America learn to idolize some of the very worst people in America, and the number of people following this bad trend is growing every day, and the worst grow richer and more powerful.

I really hope there will be a better future in store for the American man. One way for America to get out of its slump is quite literally to become cultured, and doing so means listening to better music. Rappers like Jahi are starting off small but they have a good message, even if it means they won’t get immediate huge fame. It’s not much, but Jahi is passionate about his music and ideals, and he wants strength in the family and educational prowess to be a focus of his music. He thinks if he can become popular, or even just one of many like himself in pop culture, there may still be hope for the American man. I really wish him luck, because without him, I might become an anomaly among American males everywhere. I don’t want to be living and working amongst brainwashed, violent zombie-like people.

Damsels in Distress

By Maura

I stood at the Metro Card machine feeding my dollars into the slot. I only wanted a single ride but the machine was broken and only accepting exact change. An older man asked me if I needed help using the machine, but I assured him that I was fine. I am fully capable of operation the machine. It wasn’t like I had never used a vending machine before. While I dug around in my wallet looking for twenty-five cents in nickels and dimes, the man stepped up to the machine and put another dollar in the machine for me. I grabbed the card out of the slot, thanked him, and promptly went though the turnstiles. I had not been swept up in this moment of chivalry. More than anything, I was annoyed. I was perfectly capable of sticking a dollar into the machine myself. I hadn’t needed his assistance. I know he had good intentions, that he was only trying to be helpful, but I just couldn’t help feeling frustrated. I wondered if he would have given me the dollar if I were a sixteen-year-old boy. I couldn’t help but doubt it, I think he would have let me fend for myself, be a man. I didn’t want to be the damsel in distress; I’d rather save myself.

The idea of a damsel in distress goes back hundreds of years, but still persists in popular culture today. We have all seen the countless chick flicks where the young woman finds herself in a sticky situation and is swept off her feet by the handsome chivalrous young man. The fairy tales many of us were raised on rely on this archetype for their structure. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Rapunzel all rely on their prince to save them from the tortures of their lives. Disney brings these stories to life in movies and creates the brand of Disney Princess. Almost every one of these princesses has needed a knight at some time or another. You could argue that Mulan really didn’t need one, but she’s really not the stereotypical princess. As we grow up, the damsel follows us. The phenomenon Twilight feeds directly off of this idea. Over and over again Bella finds herself in life threatening situations and needs either Jacob or Edward to come save her. Still, teenagers all over the world worship this story and all of its romance. I don’t think that Twilight would hold nearly any of its appeal if Bella could save herself. Edward would fall to the side and become much less interesting to the reader. But if Bella could save her self, then the story would basically lose purpose. No Twilight fan would want that.

There is a conflict between young women looking for independence and the old back up of the damsel in distress. We like to think of ourselves as strong, independent women, as portrayed by Destiny's Child. On the other hand though, teenage girls, me being one of them, love Taylor Swift. Everyone knows all the words to her songs and imagines that they would be good friends with her. She isn’t necessarily a damsel in distress, but Taylor pushes home that vulnerable fairytale vibe as you can see in her Love Story music video. Still, most people would agree that her persona is much classier than other Hollywood starlets. So is vulnerability even a bad thing? Does it even have to come in conflict with independence? It’s hard to find a middle place on the spectrum. It often feels like you can only be one extreme or the other. Personally, I would rather be independent, but there is definitely a market out there damsels in distress. There are even articles on how to master the art of the damsel. I’m not sure whom it even serves. I would like to think that women would rather support themselves than rely on someone else, but the damsel carries throughout time. It seems as if as long as there are “knights”, damsels will be waiting.

How about a pixie cut? by Leah

When I was little, I was subjected to a serious psychological trauma: terminally short hair. It was a seriously bad bowl cut that my mom just loved. I’m not sure if she thought it was cute or if she just liked it because it meant that she wouldn’t have to brush it out all the time. Well, my mom does have short hair, so maybe she just wanted me to be more like her. Either way, I always had very short hair as a small child. I didn’t really care that much, except when people thought that I was a boy. That bothered me. So, the only thing that I could really do about it was wear dresses all the time. So, that’s what I did. But sometimes when I was wearing leggings people still thought I was a boy. It was a psychological trauma that I still have trouble forgiving my mom for sometimes.

And it lasted for a while. I didn’t have control over my hair until around age seven, when I decided that it was time to grow out my hair. The only problem was that my hair didn’t seem to grow. Even to this day it does not grow very fast at all. But back then I struggled to grow out my tragic bowl cut in to long, luscious tresses. It never happened. Whenever my hair looked “bad,” my mom would take me to get it cut again and again. I think it’s because she loved that little girl who didn’t seem to care what her hair looked like. My mom hoped I would never care what I looked like because she drilled the old cliché into my head tirelessly- “it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside because all that matters is what’s on the inside.” In my experience, if you care what you look like on the inside then it makes sense to care what you look like on the outside. I’m still trying to grow my hair out.

Apart from people thinking I was a boy when I was a small child, this situation may not seem particularly significant. However, it has done a lot to my view of other women who choose to cut their hair short. I never made the choice to cut my hair short, but some women do. Models like Agyness Deyn (http://www.topnews.in/files/images/Agyness-Deyn6_1.jpg) and musical artists like Rihanna (https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4APiry-hcWa_xWBMxZ43TVXoqhVNW8jZNc10A_95cgibqsVQbnqsw5WPyLg5QQ9aTJb3Znoask5nh1Qg0GJHzXtNVUqoidbfRe6vQVx_Mp8c0M100YEXy8pCMXW7cjHj7lIM1g1GBdrRb/s400/Rihanna+Short+Hair+-+Pixie+Cut.jpg) choose to cut their hair in pixie cuts. I really try to understand the appeal of this. First, I suppose it’s very low maintenance. No endless blow-drying and straightening or even bad hair days. That’s really the only appeal that I see.

I really do wish that I could look good in a pixie cut. There’s a fine line though between those women who can still look intensely feminine with a pixie cut and those who end up looking like boys. There’s something very powerful to me about being a woman who looks fabulous with short hair. It’s brave, clever, edgy, and beautiful. I wish that I could look chic and feminine in a pixie cut, but the past has taught me that, in fact, I just look like a boy. I’m scared to look like a boy again.

To further explore the experience of beautiful and edgy women with short hair, read “The Garden of Eden” by Ernest Hemingway.

Gender Identity and It’s Labels by Ivan

Our experiences shape who we are. They also dictate the way we perceive the world. They tell us who we are. They are what our thoughts are based on. They are everything and anything. They could have happened or could have been imagined. Yes, even events that may have never happened are experiences. Every thought, every feeling, everything that makes you who you are has been implanted in you and decided by your experiences.

What is an experience?

Well, according to the dictionary it is “the process or fact of personally observing, encountering, or undergoing something.” This makes sense, but what about ideas, thoughts, and beliefs that we learn from other people? Are these parts of our experiences? The philosophy definition of experience goes more along the lines which I believe is experience. It is “the totality of the cognitions given by perception; all that is perceived, understood, and remembered.” So, if experience defines everything we are what give each experience its importance? In my opinion, it is other experiences. Cultural and societal environments have unsaid rules that the mind learns unconsciously about what acceptable experience is and what is not. The less acceptable an experience is, the more shunned the experience becomes. Upon being shunned both by the person and the culture and society, the type of experience may show up in the unconscious where it is either expressed without the person’s knowledge or is hidden until revealed. But, culture and society constantly change, and what was not acceptable before can be acceptable now, what was not acceptable before can be acceptable now, or what was done normally before now is considered unacceptable. Culture and society dictate what experiences will prevail in the openness for everyone to notice and when it changes it is up to people to either tap into their unconscious and accept the change based on that or built new experience.

Experiences infinitely vary and none is alike; every person has millions, billions of experiences that can be arranged in infinite patterns to form an identity from which one identifies oneself. Society or culture then labels this and although no label is suited for such a variance, society needs to separate the continuum of identities and draw the line somewhere. Gender/sex is one of those identities which carry a continuum. The standard is male and female, but where the line is drawn is being redefined. The extremes are the norms and that is slowly changing along with everything that has to do with gender like sexual orientation. Before our society only allowed the extremes to be expressed and the array of what gender one could be was set as female male. Now, there are labels all throughout the continuum like gay, lesbian, straight, bi, transmale, transsexual… Upon closer examination gender is not a continuum but a universe and the continuum could not apply to everyone. The idea of gender identity being a whole universe relates back to the infinite possible patterns of experiences one can form an identity from. This “gender” is just another identity which for the mind to rationalize must be placed under a label or a simple continuum of a label. The true language that can capture the true label for gender can never be acquired due to the fact that new experiences are constantly being added to our “logical” pattern of experiences which identify our identities. I sympathize with those that upon being asked their gender are confused or decide that it’s none of the above, but to make our society viable, everything must be labeled or at least tried to be labeled according to the current collective experience of the society.