People's gender characteristics are often an effect from the sex of their siblings. A boy who grows up with sisters will behave and have differing characteristics than a boy who grew up with all brothers. The same goes for girls. For example I grew up with an older brother. This has effected my gender characteristics especially at a young age when many kids are looking up to their older siblings. I began dressing in my brothers t-shirts and gym shorts, disregarding the bows and dresses my mom laid out for me. I refused to play with Barbies and only wanted to play man hunt or capture the flag with the boys outside. I truly believe this behavior was a result of me having an older brother. All the "boyish" things he did were normal to me so I didn't understand why I would act any other way especially because I wanted to be just like my big brother.
Eventually I grew out of this stage but the effects of having an older brother has continued to effect my gender. I am much more aware of how some men of the opposite sex behave. Its like I have an inside look on how guys deal with girls and other stresses in their lives. I have been able to see nagging girlfriends and how ultimatums never work. The way my brother often treats women is similar to the way I am with my own relationships with guys. My friends often say joking "you're such a guy," because I don't typically become attached or too emotionally invested in my relationships.
These characteristics that have developed are extremely differing from those my best friend has because she has grown up with two older sisters. As a child she was extremely feminine and always dressed in her sisters hammy downs consisting of dresses and bows. She played house and with all her older sisters' barbies. Every time I would come over her and her sisters were always having a dance party which my brother and I never did. They would also play games like Girl Talk when I was used to playing Battleship. These little differences have effected the way we have grown up creating slightly different gender characteristics and behaviors as result of our opposite sex siblings.
On a whole I feel like these observations can be held true for the most part, although I am sure their are always exceptions. But I certain in my own personal life that my brother has had more of an effect on the way I portray my gender than he has any knowledge of. My question to you is how has your siblings effected the way you carry out your gender characteristics?
Your blog is engaging because it provides me, an only child, with a window while (perhaps) providing those with siblings with a mirror. I am engaged by how (admiring) an older brother continues to influence your gender identity beyond your childhood phase of wearing his clothes and play "his" (males') games. In your TIC, you alluded to why you "don't typically become attached or too emotionally invested" in your relationships. Do that reason AND your observations of your brother's romantic habits cause you to act in such "typical" male fashion? How has your brother had an effect on the way you portray your gender outside of the way you act in relationships? Has he necessarily made you more in-tune to your masculinity? How else?
ReplyDelete-sry, that was from Alexis
ReplyDeleteAh, I have found this to be true both in my growing up (I grew up in a house with three girls and was one of the two boys), and with my own children. I wonder if my daughter somehow feels she needs to assert her femininity more strongly since she has both an older and a younger brother. She is very assertive, but would she feel less of a need to be "girly" if she had a sister? Very thought-provoking post!
ReplyDelete-Erik
I always wonder about this topic because my younger brother has grown up with 3 older sisters, so has clearly been influenced a lot by us. But i think because of that he tries really hard to be very boy-like, or maybe just is naturally Im not sure. He is ten years old and obsessed with basketball, and is also really protective over my sisters, mom, and I. Whats also interesting is how you say you were acting like a boy...again theres the whole society gender thing.. maybe you could explore what that means a little bit more
ReplyDelete-Alexandra
This is interesting because I always thought that siblings and personality were connected. It is definitely true in your case. Do you feel like your similarities are deeper, less obvious ones or on the surface of your personality? Also, I'm curious how this works for oldest siblings. I have only one younger sister and I'm not sure if that has affected my sense of gender or not.
ReplyDelete-Amelia
As an only child, this was a really interesting post. I've heard my friends with siblings talk about the affects they have on each other, but this is more of an insight for me than that ever was. I met a gay man who was the only boy in a family of five or so. He wondered if he would have felt different about his romantic life if he hadn't been the only boy. I am more likely to say no, it had not affect, but then again I guess its all up for grabs since none of us really knows how love or attraction works.
ReplyDelete-Alicia
ReplyDelete