Marry a girl, a boy, I don't care, just do it! by Shelby

Arranged marriage is a matrimonial decision made by a party other than the bride and groom. This is most dominant throughout South Asia and the Middle East. Throughout our sex and gender classes it has been puzzling me that there can be two people in love, but they aren’t allowed to get married just anywhere. I understand this concept, although I very much disagree, and it has been undergoing a lot of decision-making in the past couple of years, but then I got to thinking. What about people whose culture believes in arranged marriages? What if they are gay or lesbian? This really interested me as to what happens. I read a few articles and one that I found was about how much of a disgrace it is to be unmarried. It stated that, “Singleness means you never grew up. It's the biggest failing of parenthood -- the incompleteness of the unmarried child.” I was really shocked, but also happy, with these results. Often, when I forget to suspend judgment, I think of immigrant families as extremely conservative. In fact, most say that they would rather have their children be, “Gay, but with children,” as one Chinese mans’ parent’s decided. Others, whose parents are not as supportive, decide to ‘marry for convenience.’ This is when a gay man marries a lesbian woman so that they can fulfill their parents’ expectations, but mutually have affairs with the preferred sex. As much as this is their way of being happy, how far will that go? Sneaking around, faking family dinners with a spouse you have no true connection with, and not being true to yourself. I’m not sure what’s worse, having to marry to fool your parents into thinking you’re the perfect child, or that if parent’s did approve, the choice to marry is very limited. On January 1, 2010 New Hampshire became the fifth state to allow gay marriage, along with Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts and Iowa. Still, why are there designated areas? Especially if it is an arranged marriage, is the church denying a culture? Arranged marriage’s original purpose was to wed two young adults so that they will live with wealth, eventual love (hopefully), and to pass down the authenticity of the culture. Now, it has become a little more complex. Today there is something called a mail-order bride. Typically a woman is sent overseas to the U.S. to fulfill their husband’s needs as the ‘housewife.’ Cooking, cleaning, bearing children. Why would women agree to this? Education, money, opportunity. It baffles me as to why parent’s agree to such things. Letting their child be gay simply to be married, not because they want them to be happy. Letting their child be sent away to marry a stranger just so that they will have a chance in America. So much is given up for culture. The situation about gays and lesbians marrying is the most intriguing to me. Everyday, gays struggle to receive equal rights to wed as any other couple in America, and here are these immigrants whose parent’s push them to be married whether it be to a man, a woman, both, so to say, whatever, as long as they’re married. Which is easier? Personally, I don’t there will ever be an easy way out.