How about a pixie cut? by Leah

When I was little, I was subjected to a serious psychological trauma: terminally short hair. It was a seriously bad bowl cut that my mom just loved. I’m not sure if she thought it was cute or if she just liked it because it meant that she wouldn’t have to brush it out all the time. Well, my mom does have short hair, so maybe she just wanted me to be more like her. Either way, I always had very short hair as a small child. I didn’t really care that much, except when people thought that I was a boy. That bothered me. So, the only thing that I could really do about it was wear dresses all the time. So, that’s what I did. But sometimes when I was wearing leggings people still thought I was a boy. It was a psychological trauma that I still have trouble forgiving my mom for sometimes.

And it lasted for a while. I didn’t have control over my hair until around age seven, when I decided that it was time to grow out my hair. The only problem was that my hair didn’t seem to grow. Even to this day it does not grow very fast at all. But back then I struggled to grow out my tragic bowl cut in to long, luscious tresses. It never happened. Whenever my hair looked “bad,” my mom would take me to get it cut again and again. I think it’s because she loved that little girl who didn’t seem to care what her hair looked like. My mom hoped I would never care what I looked like because she drilled the old cliché into my head tirelessly- “it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside because all that matters is what’s on the inside.” In my experience, if you care what you look like on the inside then it makes sense to care what you look like on the outside. I’m still trying to grow my hair out.

Apart from people thinking I was a boy when I was a small child, this situation may not seem particularly significant. However, it has done a lot to my view of other women who choose to cut their hair short. I never made the choice to cut my hair short, but some women do. Models like Agyness Deyn (http://www.topnews.in/files/images/Agyness-Deyn6_1.jpg) and musical artists like Rihanna (https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4APiry-hcWa_xWBMxZ43TVXoqhVNW8jZNc10A_95cgibqsVQbnqsw5WPyLg5QQ9aTJb3Znoask5nh1Qg0GJHzXtNVUqoidbfRe6vQVx_Mp8c0M100YEXy8pCMXW7cjHj7lIM1g1GBdrRb/s400/Rihanna+Short+Hair+-+Pixie+Cut.jpg) choose to cut their hair in pixie cuts. I really try to understand the appeal of this. First, I suppose it’s very low maintenance. No endless blow-drying and straightening or even bad hair days. That’s really the only appeal that I see.

I really do wish that I could look good in a pixie cut. There’s a fine line though between those women who can still look intensely feminine with a pixie cut and those who end up looking like boys. There’s something very powerful to me about being a woman who looks fabulous with short hair. It’s brave, clever, edgy, and beautiful. I wish that I could look chic and feminine in a pixie cut, but the past has taught me that, in fact, I just look like a boy. I’m scared to look like a boy again.

To further explore the experience of beautiful and edgy women with short hair, read “The Garden of Eden” by Ernest Hemingway.